How to talk to your child's school about accommodations: a guide for parents
Many families, after suspecting or confirming that their child has dyslexia or ADHD, come up against a question that can feel harder than the diagnosis itself: how do I raise it with the school? Who do I talk to first, the class teacher or the SEN coordinator? And what if it looks like I'm asking for too much, or like I'm overreacting?
It's completely normal to feel unsure before that first conversation. You don't have to be an education expert or know the regulations by heart to talk to the school: what you mostly need is to go in calmly, with a little preparation, and with a clear sense that parents and teachers are, in fact, on the same side.
What this guide covers
Before the meeting: what to prepare
Arriving at the meeting with a little preparation helps the conversation be more concrete and less abstract, both for the family and for the teacher. It's not about bringing a fixed script, but about having some ideas clear before you sit down to talk.
Note down 2 or 3 concrete examples observed at home. Instead of saying "they find studying really hard", it's more useful to describe a real situation: "they take more than an hour to copy a short set of instructions" or "they keep getting up when they have to do a long task sitting down". Concrete examples help the teacher picture the difficulty and link it to what they see in the classroom.
Bring any report or assessment if one already exists. An educational psychologist's report, a diagnosis or an external assessment gives the school an objective basis to work from. If there's no document yet, that's fine: you can still start the conversation, explaining that there's a suspicion and that an assessment is in progress.
Decide in advance on 1 or 2 concrete, realistic requests. Turning up with a long list of demands can be overwhelming and make it harder for the conversation to move forward. The CADAH Foundation recommends precisely planning realistic goals together, few but achievable, rather than trying to tackle everything in the first meeting. It's better to agree on two concrete changes and review them later than to propose ten and have none of them applied properly.
During the meeting: how to open the conversation
The tone in which the conversation is framed has a big influence on how it's received. Presenting it as a collaboration between family and school, and not as a demand or a complaint, tends to open many more doors than starting on the defensive.
The class teacher isn't usually the one who decides alone which accommodations are put in place, so framing the meeting as a first step to find together the best way to help the child, rather than as a negotiation, helps everyone come in with the same attitude.
Some phrases that can help open the conversation:
"We wanted to mention something we're noticing at home, to see whether it rings a bell for you too and to think together about how we can help them."
"We're not asking for less to be expected of them, but for it to be expected in a way they can follow more easily."
"How about we try this for a few weeks and then see how it went?"
Phrases like these make it clear that the family isn't arriving with a fixed demand, but with the willingness to build a solution alongside the teaching team, one that can be reviewed over time.
Examples of reasonable adjustments you can ask for
Not every accommodation needs an official report or a lengthy process. Many are simple adjustments, low-cost for the classroom, that can make a real difference in the child's day-to-day.
For dyslexia
- Avoid copying long passages from the board, handing them over already written or photocopied so the effort goes into solving, not transcribing.
- Visual support and diagrams instead of long, dense texts, to make it easier to understand instructions and content.
- More time in written tests, recognizing that reading and writing take them more effort and time than their classmates.
For ADHD
- Break long tasks into smaller steps, with clear indications of what to do at each moment, instead of one single, lengthy instruction.
- A seat in the classroom that reduces distractions, such as being near the teacher or away from the window or from classmates who easily distract them.
- Short scheduled breaks between tasks, that allow them to move for a moment before getting back to work, instead of requiring them to sit without interruption for the whole session.
After the meeting: keeping the communication going
A single meeting, however well it goes, rarely resolves the whole process. What makes the difference in the medium term is keeping up continuous communication between family and school, rather than leaving everything to a one-off encounter at the start of the year.
A shared home-school notebook, even a simple one, or brief regular contact (a note, a short email every few weeks) makes it possible to adjust what was agreed according to how it's working in the classroom, and stops the accommodations from becoming a promise that fades over time.
Next step
Bringing a concrete example to the meeting usually helps more than explaining it with words alone. If at home you've already used a workbook or reinforcement worksheet that works well for your child, showing it to the teacher can make it very clear what kind of material suits the way they work: the font size, the amount of text per page, the type of visual support they need.
At Zubibook you can generate that example in just a few minutes: you choose the age, the language and the specific difficulty (dyslexia, ADHD or autism), and you get a print-ready PDF workbook to take to the next meeting as a starting point for the conversation.
This article offers general information and support activities. Zubibook is not a healthcare provider or an accredited educational institution: it does not replace the diagnosis or follow-up of a professional. If you have any doubt about a child's development, consult a specialist.
Remember: every school and every child is different. These ideas are a general starting point; they do not replace the assessment or follow-up of a specialized professional.
Take a sample workbook to the next meeting
Choose age, difficulty and language and generate a print-ready PDF activity workbook in minutes.
- CADAH Foundation — Basic relationships between school and family of a pupil with ADHD
- CADAH Foundation — ADHD: curricular adjustments